I have always known I was different. As cliche as it sounds, it is true. Since a very young age I have been aware that I was not like the other kids. I have struggled my whole life to figure out who I am and why I feel the way I do. On Wednesday, August 24, 2011, I finally got a more definitive answer than I ever expected. I have been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome.
My quirks and habits now make sense. I am not sure how this will change my life in the long run, but it is certainly a relief that I can quit trying to force myself to be like everyone else. Some of this stuff is just hardwired into my head. It will be interesting to report the long term effects on my life.
For now, the most obvious and immediate change is that I have just stopped trying to interact with people like I am normal. All of my life I have spent time trying to figure out how to act normal. I don’t pick up on social cues or have innate social skills. I have to learn everything, and I have to put constant effort toward trying to be aware of everything normal people take for granted.
It is a nice break to be able to retreat into my own world and not have to constantly be vigilant about everything around me. It is that vigilance that makes being around people tired. When I am around people that know my condition now, I can at least drop some of that effort and not worry about them getting terribly offended. Or at least so I hope.
Not sure what else to say here, other than I will continue to write about my experiences learning to cope with my condition.
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